


Five times Jervis Tetch had sex (and one time he made love)

by bluhawk



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Demisexual Jervis Tetch, Drabble That Got Out of Control, F/M, Frottage, Gray-Asexual Jonathan Crane, Gray-Asexuality, Hand Jobs, Jervis is too eager to please, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Binary Edward Nygma, Oral Sex, Other, Out of Character, Rimming, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sexual Experimentation, Trans Jervis Tetch, Trans Male Character, heavily implied, kind of but mostly, okay prepare for a lot of tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:09:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluhawk/pseuds/bluhawk
Summary: Alternative title: Guards of Arkham don't get paid enough to see this shitI decided to do a take on those 5+1 fics, and ended up with this.Jervis is very open for intimacy, but doesn't really get the gist of it. Until he does.
Relationships: Edward Nygma/Jervis Tetch, Jervis Tetch/Arnold Wesker, Joker (DCU)/Jervis Tetch, Jonathan Crane/Jervis Tetch, Music Meister/Jervis Tetch, Pamela Isley/Jervis Tetch
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Five times Jervis Tetch had sex (and one time he made love)

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a quick drabble, but it somehow took form of its own. That's why the writing style may not be consistent. I doubt this is very good (it's very self-indulgent), but I hope you like it anyways!
> 
> Note: I love all of these ships, but Hattercrow has been an OTP for me for as long as I can recall. So, forgive my bias.

Arnold was a sweetheart, always quiet and polite no matter what. Even if the entire Arkham Asylum were on fire, he probably wouldn’t have a bad thing to say. Jervis found him endearing, a pleasant addition to his tea parties.  
However, Arnold could only last so long without Mr. Scarface. Depending on “the warden of the month” (they never do last very long), the doll was either left in his care or taken into confinement. And without Scarface, Arnold was like a lost, distressed puppy: relentlessly nervous to the point he couldn’t take a break from crying – even to sleep.

  
Which is why, when Arnold had spent another week without his precious puppet, Jervis couldn’t handle the other’s constant fussing and sobbing. Guiding him to one of the filthy bathroom stalls, he kissed the sorrows away from his companion. Pressing him against the cubicle walls, Jervis sneaked his hand inside Arnold’s trousers, finding him half-mast already. The blonde opened his mouth to ask for permission but was caught off guard by the other thrusting against his palm. All it took was a minute or two of fast-paced stroking before Arnold came with a whimper, then stuttering a mixture of apologies and praises whilst Jervis walked to wash off his hands.

\- - -  
When Pamela approached him, Jervis knew it was for revenge. Harley had gone back to the clown, again, and Ivy was furious for being left behind. Jervis didn’t mind. Of course, he didn’t want to make things worse between the two ladies, but the redhead was determined: if she didn’t sleep with him, it would be someone else. Therefore, as Jervis was gently pulled aside from the common area, there were no words spoken. There was no need to talk.

  
Pamela led him deep into the garden, behind her most cherished bush of roses, and efficiently undressed herself. She laid them down onto the grass, gesturing for the small man to get at it. After simply staring for an awkward moment or two, Jervis got the hint and began licking and sucking at Ivy’s womanhood. He wasn’t too experienced at giving oral sex, but he did his best to caress her everywhere he could with his mouth. Pressing inside with his tongue and using his fingers to rub at her clitoris, she started to moan obscenely loud. It was most likely a part of her revenge plan.

  
Jervis presumed that getting caught by the guards was a part of her plan, too.

\- - -  
Jervis really should’ve guessed that, after the whole ordeal with Ivy, the Joker would come chasing his tail. Unsurprisingly, there had been a huge fight (one the Bat had to come break up) and the ladies decided to get back together in the end. The clown was seething, looking for anyone to blame, and the blonde was, well, conveniently there. So, when the other grabbed Jervis by the collar, dragging him to the first unoccupied lounge, he didn’t bother fighting back.

  
Joker commanded the other onto his knees, cackling as he dropped his pants with excessive motions. Jervis looked at him in the eyes before complying. He knew he had a choice – this wasn’t the first time they’d danced to this song – but deep down, he had to admit his weakness to the Clown Prince’s charm. And so, with a sigh, he wrapped his lips around the tip, then smoothly taking in the other’s length. He started at a slow pace, working his way to a steady rhythm while Joker made nearly inhuman noises. Soon, the walls echoed with wet sounds and labored breaths. When Jervis felt a tug at his hair, he thought it was to help him up his speed – but as he pulled away entirely, the other suddenly lost control, spilling all over his face. They stared at one another in uncomfortable silence.

  
“Heh. Knock kno-“  
“No.”

  
\- - -  
When Edward was brought back, battered and bruised from an unsuccessful heist, Jervis was the first to rush to their side. Shaking with concern, the blonde struggled not to start crying. Ed was conscious, which almost made it worse, as they gave him a small smile. The guards allowed Jervis to follow them to the hospital quarters, giving the two a minute by themselves. As the door slammed closed, they locked eyes, Edward wiping away the few tears rolling down his cheek. They wanted to say something, to break the crushing silence, but before they got the chance to, they felt those soft lips pressing against their own.

  
Ed pulled Jervis on top of them, eliciting a sharp creak from the bed, and they deepened the kiss with flaming passion. The small man spread his legs, grinding down onto his dear friend’s lithe body. He settled in on a steady rhythm, Edward soon catching up. It was almost animalistic, their bodies rutting against one another, separated only by the thin fabric of their clothes. Ed didn’t last very long – being already spent from the chase – but as they came, they pressed a kiss onto the blonde’s neck.

  
And for a moment, Jervis felt like he was loved.

  
\- - -  
There were very few occasions when the showers of Arkham were peaceful. More often than not, it was a mess with at least a fight or two and some broken bones. Jervis was lucky enough to earn more private shower time, but he usually asked for a chaperone. He did not trust the guards.  
When Dr. Leland commanded Music Meister to accompany him for his shower shift, he had practically jumped on the opportunity. They were good friends, profoundly connected by their interest in mind control and passion for love. But Jervis felt an unusual tension between them as he gazed at Dennis. As they were led down the gloomy halls, he held his breath in anticipation. 

  
The sound of running water was indication enough for the guards to leave the two be. Standing still, undressed, Jervis began cleaning himself with a sponge he prayed was unused. As he turned around to face the tiles, Music Meister inched closer, rubbing his back in circular motion. It felt nice, hot skin pressing against his underneath the spray of warm water. He rocked back to the movement for a while but stopped in his tracks when he felt the redhead’s hardness accidentally hitting him. Dennis didn’t stop massaging him – in fact, he seemed to pay no mind to his body’s actions – instead beginning to hum softly. Jervis sighed, backing up closer to his friend. Only then did he pause, realizing exactly where this was headed to. He said nothing, however, as the blonde moved to spread his cheeks slightly, granting him the access his groin seemed to yearn for.  
The act itself was fluent, their bodies moving in tandem as Dennis breached him from behind. At first, he was afraid of hurting the smaller man, but he quietly assured he wouldn’t break so easily. After several thrusts, they were both captured by the sweet ecstasy coursing through their veins. The redhead squeezed the other’s hips hard enough to leave bruises, blowing shaky breaths onto his burning skin. Moaning loudly, Jervis clenched his muscles, pushing his friend over the edge.  
When it was over, they acted as if nothing had happened: the shower was turned off before the pair simply walked away to get dressed. Dennis smiled at his friend with the same kindness as before, and all seemed well.

  
But Jervis couldn’t shake off the strange hollowness within him.

  
+  
It took years of friendship and silent pining before Jervis and Jonathan finally confessed to one another and began dating, but when they did, the blonde was over the moon. For so long he’d yearned to be close to someone like his March Hare: someone he shared such a profound bond with. He knew Jon wasn’t all that interested in intimacy, but it didn’t matter. Simply being together was enough.  
About six months into their relationship, Jonathan suggested they give it a go. Jervis was beyond thrilled, and the very next evening, they decided to share a bed for the first time (well, other than for sleeping). As the night fell and the darkness settled in, they were all over each other, hands roaming through ruffled clothes. Jervis pressed his lover onto the bed, reaching down towards his trousers.

  
“Wait,” Jonathan gasped out.  
“What is it? Is something wrong?”  
“No, not exactly, but…” he pulled Jervis back up with steady hands, smoothly pushing him onto the covers. “I just want to do this right.”  
“Love, there is no-“  
“I mean, I just really want you to feel good,” he mumbled, kissing the other’s neck.

  
Jervis fell silent, nodding hesitantly. Their lips connected for a brief moment, until Jon moved his hands to caress the blonde’s nipples. Encouraged by soft gasps and moans, his long fingers wandered lower, pulling the other’s pants down. Tracing along with his mouth, he turned his attention to Jervis’ hole, pushing into him agonizingly slow. He kissed and sucked with fervor, promptly quickening the pace of his hand. The blonde was struggling to form coherent thoughts over the new, overwhelming pleasure. Suddenly, his clever fingers found that special spot inside…

  
And Jervis saw stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Have a wonderful day!


End file.
